Confessions of a First Time Mom

My due date is quickly approaching and is more than likely responsible for the wide range of emotions I've gone through lately. For instance, I broke into tears not once, but three times at the 9:30 club while watching the US Air Guitar Championships. Don't ask. I'm hoping this is not a sign of things to come after baby arrives. 

In my second trimester, I was positively full of love and no fear whatsoever. As soon as I moved into the third trimester, things got a little more serious. I'm not freaking out per say, but I still find it very hard to wrap my mind around the fact that there is going to be a new human being in this house and he is going to depend on his father and I for love, protection, shelter, safety, food, etc. Atom reminds me that people have been having babies for centuries and that it's nothing to freak out about. Easy for him to say, he gets to go back to work while I'll be at home with baby (hopefully not scarring him for life). Then again, I do get to rediscover the world through a new set of eyes, which I am really looking forward to. 

I love babies and kids in general, but I'm not one of those adults that children flock to for amusement or entertainment like they do to Atom. (How could you resist that goofy-hairy face?) Of course everyone tells me that your own child will love you like no one else, so maybe I'm being silly in thinking my own child won't like me. I'm going to be a teacher and I'm worried about acceptance from kids...how crazy is that? 

Now to top off all this mental anxiety, we found out today that my son is the size of a Dallas Cowboys Linebacker. He's already 7 1/2 pounds and I still have a little over 3 weeks left! He could very well end up a 9 pound baby, and I have not been doing any upper body strength training. How am I going to carry around a 9 pound baby with my spaghetti arms? That's the least of my problems...how am I going to get this kid out? Yeah, yeah...my body is meant to do this, I've already been reminded. Thank God for modern medicine, that's all I have to say. 

There's no turning back now. We are in the home-stretch and in no way do I want to prolong this pregnacy any longer than I have to.  Waddling, acid reflux and falling face-first into your keyboard at work are not my favorite part of this whole experience. I had it too easy my first two trimesters, so this must be my punishment. So if anyone knows how to serve eviction papers to a fetus, please get in touch.